i didn't want to jinx it....

There are a few things that happen when I start dating someone.

1. I try not to get too excited about it. In my history, it's far more likely that the budding relationship with fall flat on its face within a few weeks.

2. So I try not to jinx it. I don't talk about the guy, the feelings, the anything because I'm certain that once I start verbalizing it, it will fall flat on its face. That's what always seems to happen.

3. When I do start talking about it, it's usually with my close friends. And if I really like someone, I can't wait for them to meet my friends. There are two reasons for this. First, my friends know me so well and can verify if I've found a good guy or not. I also want them to see my interaction with the fellow, to judge whether or not this is something I should continue to pursue. Secondly, the new man must see me with my friends. My friends are very important to me, and they are also a reflection of who I am as a person. And if he can't handle me when I'm with my friends, it's all over.

4. I also begin thinking too far into the future. I don't take time to appreciate what is going on at the moment; it's all about what will happen next. As a result, I start imagining a relationship that doesn't really exist. I get my hopes up and the guy doesn't meet my expectations.

5. I try to play the games and I fail miserably. All that game-playing in a relationship frustrates me. I don't understand how to play or what the game even is. As much as try to master these games, I always do something silly or stupid or honest that screws it all up.


So what about this new guy, A?

1. I am very excited about it. But not too excited. I tried to restrain myself at first. However, those days are long gone. My friend Leslie told me today that I'm smitten. It's true.

2. I waited to talk about it for as long as possible. It didn't matter - I haven't seemed to jinx. So now I can spread the word. I'm pretty crazy about A.

3. He's met most of my closest friends, even going so far as to go on a double date with my best friend and her boyfriend. It went splendidly. She is a huge fan of A, telling me that she really likes how we are together. I am very genuine around him, she says. He really likes my friends. And he's introduced me to most of his close friends. And I got good reviews as well.

4. I'm enjoying the moment. It's easy with him. We talk all the time and we are honest with each other. I don't need to start looking into the future because I'm so happy right now.

5. And, as I stated above, it's easy. There have been no games. We're upfront about things and we have no reason to play games with each other. I don't feel as though I have to work at anything with A. He treats me like no man has ever treated me before. I feel like a princess with him, which is something that I've never really felt in a relationship. When my friends tell me that they've never seen me like this, I'm quick to respond that it's because no one has ever treated me so well.

reasons/excuses for not posting more often

I've been spending all my time at work.


All that time I've been at work, I've actually been doing work. (No fun on the net).


When I'm not at work, I'm probably sleeping.


If I'm not sleeping, I'm doing statistics homework.


There's a cute boy occupying my mind.


This cute boy is also occupying my time.


A cute boy is far better than spending my free time in my room, alone, blogging on my laptop.

blue tuesday

it is a universal truth that tuesdays are the worst day of the week. mine started with rain after i grudgingly dragged myself out of bed to go to the gym. i haven't been sleeping much lately and i was exhausted. but i still managed to get myself going this morning only to step outside into nasty, drippy rain. at least the train pulled in just as i got down to the platform.

my workday actually went well; no snags to speak of. i really felt great about the entire day until i heard from a coworker that the blue line wasn't working. there had been some sort of fire on the tracks. what started as a bit of a pain turned into a major annoyance when it took me 1.5 hours to get home. first i waited for the bus that is an alternate way of getting to my hood. i joined about 50 other people on the curb, all with the same idea. unfortunately, there were no buses coming. at least not the route we wanted. you would think the cta would dispatch more buses along that route since it is being considered an alternate to the train, but no......

fed up with waiting, i considered just trying to get a cab. i only had about $2 in my wallet so i stopped at a walgreen's for some cash. that's when i found the shuttle pickup. it was taking cta customers to the damen stop on the blue line. perfect! i weaved in between people until i managed to get a spot standing in the aisle hovering over an old man. i turned up the sound on my ipod to drown out the voices around me and tried to not think about how awful this was. it could be worse, right? i could have been on the train that derailed.

eventually, i made it home. a little irritated, sort of tired, ready for a drink. both of my parents called me after seeing the story on the news, just making sure i was okay. and A called too because he heard about it and thought of me.

more on that later....

the catastrophe snail

On a recent episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy,, Billy experienced a string of bad luck due to a Catastrophe Snail that had crawled inside his ear. The snail set up shop on Billy's brain, plugging in his computer and wreaking havoc on Billy's life. The Snail got great pleasure out of this. Mandy and Grim finally lured the Snail out of Billy's head and squashed it so that Billy's bad luck disappeared.

I think a Catastrophe Snail planted itself in my head last week, and I've yet to have it removed. I woke up late twice last week on two days where it was imperative that I NOT be late. The first day was last Tuesday when my hotel room alarm clock didn't sound and I had about 25 minutes to get down to the lobby to meet my coworkers. On Thursday, I woke up at 8:58 am. I was supposed to be on a client call at 9. My supervisor wasn't happy. Late twice in one week? I am never late. This weekend I didn't really do much so the bad luck had little opportunity to occur. I was supposed to go out with the New Guy (we'll call him A), but he had to cancel on me. Then Monday night the bad luck popped up again when I accidentally found myself caught up in some drama. I let something slip out to a friend which was damaging to a few other people. Needless to say, the night was downhill from there. I found myself outside a bar getting screamed at by an ex's roommate and had to try and sort things out this morning. I don't do drama and this whole thing has been quite unpleasant. That will teach me to keep my mouth shut.

The only good thing that came out of this past week was my date with A on Wednesday night (although it was the reason I woke up late and hungover on Thursday morning). It was a great first date even though I was utterly exhausted after my business trip. He picked me up via cab (totally out of his way, but chivalry is not dead to him) and we had a romantic Mexican dinner. Then he took me to his favorite bar, a small neighborhood place where he knew everyone and showed great pride in introducing me. Somehow I agreed to going to another bar with him and our Wednesday turned into a Friday night. No complaints though - I had a terrific time with A and cannot wait to see him again.

just asking

Have you ever seen a black minivan? Do they not exist? And why not? I've got my thoughts but I'd like to hear what other people think.

This question came up during our recent road trip to Michigan and we've yet to get a solid answer.....

the meat-loving midwest

It's been four years since I stopped eating red meat and pork, two and a half years since giving up poultry. Whenever I tell people that I don't eat meat, they ask if I find it difficult being a vegetarian (pescaterian actually since I still eat fish occasionally), but after not eating it for so long I really don't even notice. I avoid restaurants where I won't find anything veggie-friendly and I know that I have to be flexible when I'm dining with a group. I make do at work lunches where deli sandwich platters fill the conference room table. It's really not a big deal. However, I take for granted living in Chicago. It's easy to find veggie foods at most restaurants, and my neighborhood even has a few vegetarian restaurants. But when I leave the city, I realize that most of the country is pro-meat. They seem baffled by those of us who claim not to eat meat because we don't want to. The restaurants lining the highways are famous for their cheap, meaty offerings. Road trips can be especially difficult for the vegetarian when every exit showcases McDonald's, Wendy's, and Steak & Shake. Once in awhile I'll get lucky and find a Subway or even a Taco Bell.

Earlier this week I had to travel on business to Michigan. The first night my team had dinner at one of the restaurants in our hotel, a very burgers & steak sort of place. When we walked in my boss asked if I'd be cool with the choice and, after perusing the menu and finding a few things I could eat, we sat down. Upon ordering the portabello burger, I was told that it was just a mushroom and no meat. Was that okay? Yes, I told the waitress, that was exactly what I wanted. She actually confirmed that twice with me before leaving our table because other patrons have been disappointed when they order that item and find no actual burger on the bun.

The rest of the trip was more of the same. I missed out on lunch at our clients' office since it was all meaty sandwiches. I took myself to Subway a few hours later. We also had a happy hour with our clients where I indulged on the veggie tray and the fried mushrooms. I think I accidentally ate a bite of chicken only because the entire tray was full of brown, fried foods which were unidentifiable except by shape. Lunch on the road was more of the same, although we lucked out by stopping at an exit with a Quiznos.

I was happy to get back to Chicago after my two days in Kalamazoo. Veggie enchiladas, deluxe salads, veggie sandwiches....these are just a few of the non-meat meals I've had since I returned. I can stay away from just getting by ordering a side salad or a large fry at Wendy's because I have so many options. I don't think I'd survive in a town of family restaurant chains and fast food strip malls.

Bobby Flay, stop teasing me.

I am hungry and I have very little food in my apartment. Some Froot Loops, wheat bread, cheese, and granola bars. I made the mistake of turning on Food Network where Bobby Flay is turning up the grill and making some vegetarian food.

Portobello mushrooms stacked with machengo cheese, spinach, and a sherry vinaigrette. Pizza with oregano, olive oil, Parmesan cheese, cracked red pepper, and fresh basil. Grilled apricots drizzled with chocolate sauce and almonds.

Mmmmm.....this isn't fair.

I'm blogging from the back porch in order to enjoy the longest day of the year. It was such a treat to get out of work on time today (read: not working until after 9pm) and I celebrated by laying around on the couch reading In Style and watching tv. Until I took out the garbage and felt how the humidity had died somewhat and it was actually a very pleasant night. So now I'm outside, where the wifi signal is somewhat low, at least until I finish this post.

I haven't felt this at home in a long time. Not at my old apartment and not in my college apartment. Or even when I came home from college and lived in the house where I grew up. Honestly, I haven't felt this comfortable since my second or third semester living in my sorority house. We've lived in our apartment for three months (time is flying) and since the beginning it has felt more homey than our old digs. It's neat, relaxing, and the kind of place you want to be after working 12 hours everyday of the week. It's taken me longer to get adjusted to the new neighborhood; I haven't felt 100% comfortable here, but it's getting better. After my West Town weekend with Anne, I feel much more at home. It's difficult when the majority of my friends don't live around here, but in Lincoln Park or Lakeview (near where we used to reside). I don't regret moving here, I just wish that more of my friends were closer. But it's officially the first day of summer and I plan on taking more time to relax and enjoy myself at home (or around home) in the coming months....before it becomes too cold to consider crossing Ashland.

weekends a go-go

My Friday off from work was timed perfectly. Somehow, I always manage to do that.

I worked like crazy Monday through Thursday. 48 hours. In four days. Tuesday was the worst at 16.5 hours. When my boss told me we would be going home close to 5 on Thursday night, I was ecstatic. Leaving that early felt like having a half day. After a few late nights in a row, I was not only exhausted, but also ready to leave the office during daylight. It had gotten to the point where I cared little about the weather because I knew it wouldn't affect me (sitting at my computer all day). Predicting rain or thunderstorms? No need to bring my umbrella - I'll most likely be expensing a cab home at 10:30 pm.

But that's all over, at least until another hellish week in August.

My mom and I planned to spend a day together on Friday and, luckily, my bosses were nice enough not to cancel it even though work was so busy. After the second late night, I really started looking forward to my Friday. Not being at work was enough to keep me happy. And getting off on time Thursday evening made it even better. I came home and napped before going to a late dinner at a new tapas restaurant in my neighborhood.

Friday was perfect. The weather was beautiful, although a bit hot. My mom and I met at 10 and walked straight to the Museum of Contemporary Art. Our primary reason for going was the Andy Warhol/Supernova exhibit (which ends Sunday), but neither of us had been to the MCA since it moved locations. There were other temporary exhibits that were just as interesting, if not more, than the one we planned to see. A photography exhibit on the first floor occupied most of time when we arrived at the MCA. I loved it, but I would have preferred to study the photos of penises without my mom at my side.

After the MCA, we had a long lunch. One of my favorite things about my mom is how we talk. We talk about any and everything, and we are constantly asking each other for advice. So lunch went long, mostly because we just needed some face time with each other. It had been over a month.

I didn't want my perfect day to end there, but I didn't have any evening plans. My roommate Anne and I ended up on the couch watching too many hours of programming on the Style network (I do not recommend this). After hour three, we determined we were better than this and vowed to have a good night out (and not on the couch). My Warhol day came full circle once we got to Sonotheque a few hours later where the theme of the night was Sono-a-gogo. Anne felt like we were at the Factory with the drinks, 60s music, go-go boots, and films on the wall. I ordered a few gin & sodas and was having a great time despite the strange Dutch man with sour breath who wouldn't leave me alone.

After go-going for awhile, we left and went another bar and then to Anne's friend's place. Drinking wine, gin, and beer had made me quite the drowsy girl and I quickly passed out. Waking around 4, I was confused and left without Anne. All the while knowing that I might have to work today.


But there was no work today. Just sun worshipping in the afternoon and random parties (rained-out Taste of Randolph, wine, pizza, & Catchphrase, and a warehouse/gallery party where the temperature was about 95 degrees and we rummaged through the messy kitchen for some booze like we were 17 again) all night. I managed to maintain my three-day weekend and have a great time being a neighborhood whore with Anne.

Photojournal to come.

the baby thing returns

I don't know if it was the marathon session of Domino's Pizza eating yesterday (mmm....555 deal is so worth it), but I had the most terrifying dream last night.

I had a baby.

I didn't actually give birth in the dream; it's just that I suddenly had an infant. That was mine. That had no father. The baby's eyes were just like mine, but there were no other defining characteristics that indicated who the dad might be. Even more frightening.

It was a realistic dream. I recall actually feeling the weight of the baby, physically and emotionally. Thoughts were running through my head about keeping my job, maintaining my social life, and finding a babysitter. I could feel my life changing drastically as this baby was thrust into my arms. In my dream, I kept walking around with the baby held close to my chest while people talked about me. There were coworkers and strangers, and I think my dad made an appearance somewhere. It just all felt so scary.

Then the baby started crying and someone told me that he/she (no sex was revealed that I can remember) must be hungry. Being the inept, dreaming mother that I was, I started to give her solid food (I think it was cereal). But then it clicked. I should be breastfeeding her. And this was all in the dream.

When I woke up, I couldn't shake the feeling of overwhelming responsibility that this baby dream brought. It's not like I'm thinking of having a child any time soon, but I know for sure after last night that I'm nowhere near prepared for one.

so what do you do when you can't stop thinking about someone? when he fills up spare thoughts? when you like being super occupied at work because you can't think about him? or when you wish he was curled up on the couch next to you when you come home from work and just want to relax? you see couples on the street or in restaurants, grabbing coffee or heading to the beach, and you want it to be you and him doing all these things. it hurts, all these thoughts and feelings, because you don't know if they will ever materialize. and it hurts because you can't help it; you can't stop the feelings and random acts of crying that come from thinking about him one minute too long. you're sure it would be love if it could just happen, and so you dismiss other potential possibilities because they don't measure up to whatever it is you've built inside your mind. it's not that it's fake; it's just not completely real. you're not pretending or inventing, but maybe you are making more out of what currently exists. and you can't tell him, at least not now or not yet. you want to. in fact, your mind has already imagined all the scenarios of how you'll tell him (of course, they all turn out great). but still, you wait. you let it go like it means so little to you when, in truth, it means so much.

a fest for book nerds

It finally felt like summer today. The warm temperatures, the trip to the beach, the outdoor dining and drinking - none of these had gotten me in the mood for summertime. But earlier this week I made plans with myself to attend the Printers Row Book Fair today and had a beautiful, sunny, book-filled afternoon.


Printers Row, at the northern tip of the South Loop, was filled with large tents of books: new, used, expensive, cheap, rare, popular, hardcover, paperback. Booksellers from across the city and state set up in the streets and on the sidewalks. There were stages set up in the center and southern end of the fair for author readings. Book lovers like me crowded into the tents, hovering over the books. Often the lines were two or three deep just to get up to the bookshelves. I found myself standing on tiptoe to see the titles, occasionally reaching out my hand for something I liked. I bought one used book, a $4 copy of Empire Falls. Unlike many of the other book nerds, I wasn't there to scour the racks for books. I didn't really have the patience. My trip was planned around the readings.

I had the pleasure of seeing one of my favorite writers read for the first time. Augusten Burroughs's reading was at 2:30. For me (and for other readers/writers like me), readings are like the red carpet of the literary world. It's your chance to see your favorite author up close, maybe even have some Q&A or dialogue with the mind you so admire. I arrived more than early enough to peek through the fair and get a prime spot for the reading. I ended up sitting on the ground right in front of the stage where the tall and lanky Burroughs read a story from (I assume) his new book. He talked about the show he's writing for Showtime, the film adaptation of Running With Scissors, and James Frey. He was funny and he reminded me that I should be writing everyday. Easier said than done.

After four hours of weaving through the crowd, I left with a red CSPAN Book TV bag containing my signed copy of RWS, my signed copy of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius (I missed the Dave Eggers reading, but made it to the signing), my new used book, and a 1972 New Yorker cover suitable for framing. And now, worn out and full from veggie enchiladas, I'm enjoying summer from my couch.

it's here already?

Weather in Chicago is a constant punchline. It's unpredictability is so regular that there is always a joke to be made about the current season, month, or weather pattern. We get blizzards in April and no snow throughout January. Every year it seems that those two inbetween seasons, Spring and Fall, pass Chicago by. Though I've lived in this area my entire life and should know better, I always get my hopes up that Spring will really come (for longer than a week) and we'll have a gradual warm up to Summer. Every year there are a few days that seem to fit my expectations and then - wham! - it's 45 degrees and rainy. Oh, and there's snow in the forecast for tomorrow. So every year Summer attacks the Windy City with a one-two punch: heat and humidity. They often come together, wearing down thousands of Chicagoans who, even though it's brutal, fight to walk through the heavy, heated air just because "it's nice outside".

Memorial Day traditionally acts as an opening to Spring and our weather is a sign of that. It's hot and humid here (90 degrees), when only last week it was barely pushing 70. The sudden summer is a welcome relief to those cool, unspringlike days we've been having, but it's also hard to get used to all at once. After being out of town for two days, I returned to a hot and sticky apartment where, it soon became clear, we would have to turn on the AC. I then decided to join thousands of other people in the city at the beach.

(This is when I miss my old place. It was SO close to the beach, I took it for granted. I now have to take the bus to get to the lakefront and that is quite unpleasant in the heat and sweatiness.)

I went alone, eager to catch a few hours alone with my iPod and the sun. Admittedly, I am a sun worshipper. There's a reason I was a lifeguard for six years. I love being outside doing absolutely nothing in the sun (something I think I inherited from both of my parents, both of whom are sun worshippers themselves). When I flipped onto my stomach, I was looking out at the lake, not believing that another summer was already here. As much as I complained about the winter, it seems to have been nonexistent now that summer is back. That's the thing about Chicago. We wonder why we live here when it's cold and nasty, but as soon as summer arrives, we forget all about the frozen snot in our noses and gear up for festival season. The beach was packed with other sungods and goddesses like myself, alone and in groups. There were families and teenagers. Frisbee throwers, bike riders, and runners. I caught myself watching two teenage girls furtively smoking cigarettes on the sand. They walked around nervously, circling the same area, and trying to look as cool as possible smoking while simultaneously hoping their parents wouldn't see. I remembered my own summers of being sneaky with my friends because that's what those summers were all about. These days, it seems like summer is jam-packed with weekend plans (weddings, showers, BBQs, short trips, concerts, festivals); there is seldom time to just enjoy.

So that's what I did this afternoon, my first official day of summer. I just enjoyed. I came home and enjoyed a cool shower. I enjoyed sitting in our air conditioned apartment and just talking with my roommates. And I enjoyed a nice al fresco meal with my roommate at a restaurant down the street. We had nowhere to be, no plans to fulfill - the way summer should be.

glutton for punishment

If you live in Chicago, Boston, California, New York or any other city that might have an Exhale, I totally recommend taking a Core Fusion class. I went for the first time last night, gratis, and I can't wait until my next workout. There's a little bit of yoga, some Pilates, and a splash of strength training - all set to energetic music that sort of disappears as you sweat and lunge and squeeze and press. An hour went by quickly and, even though I was wiped out, I wanted more. I want to keep going. And though my shoulders were a little sore this morning, I can tell Core Fusion kicked my ass in a good way.

mom to be (or not to be)

I'm not sure if it's all these celebrities having babies or something biological, but lately I've been thinking about being pregnant.

Not that I want to rush out and get knocked up or anything. It's just that for the longest time I haven't wanted children. My family and friends know that I'm not a kid person, that if I do have kids I only want one. I remember being around 11 years old and declaring that I wasn't going to have kids. My aunt never had kids. She's happy and has a great lifestyle. Why wouldn't I want to just get married and leave the whole baby thing out of it? Part of it was the whole childbirth thing. I can't imagine what that feels like: the pain, the anxiety, the screaming, the stretch marks. And I'm not a very maternal person. Being a mom seems like a foreign concept to me. I always thought I was too selfish to have kids.

Because I'm not so maternal, I assumed I would be a bad mother. Or just not a great one. I sort of envy my friends who know they want kids. I don't want to see self-centered or uncaring, but I don't know if I could do it. And I see my mom and other moms being so proud of their kids that I want that for myself. Lately I've also thought about what it would feel like to be pregnant, and not in the beached whale sort of feeling. I've been thinking about the glow that pregnant woman have or the way they smile when they touch their growing stomach. The excitement that comes with the baby's arrival and all of the planning that comes beforehand.

But I can't pinpoint the reason for my baby thoughts. Is it all the babies in the news? Or is it something more fundamental than that? Could it be that at 24, my biological clock has started ticking? And even though I may have not pictured myself as the Mom type, my body is telling me that it's ready to breed?

the l word

Just a few days remaining in my online dating subscription (although I haven't checked the site in about 6 weeks) and I got my first lesbian email.

Women think I'm sexy. Awesome.

countdown

10 Favorites
Favorite Season: Fall
Favorite Color: green or black
Favorite Time: between 10 and 11 am
Favorite Food: bagels for breakfast, chocolate as dessert, and any mozzarella/tomato combinations for other meals
Favorite Drink: coffee, diet coke, bloody mary
Favorite Ice Cream: mocha chip
Favorite Place: New York
Favorite Sport: baseball
Favorite Actor: I've become a fan of Robert Downey Jr lately
Favorite Actress: Diane Keaton

9 Currents
Current Feeling: cold
Current Drink: vanilla chai tea
Current Time: 1:07 pm (really? i had no idea it was that late)
Current Show on TV: some home decorating show my roommate is watching
Current Mobile used: it's samsung
Current Windows Open: just blogger (and itunes)
Current Underwear: it's black, as usual
Current Clothes: gray sweatpants, pop-tarts tshirt (don't ask), and my sorority hooded sweatshirt
Current Thought: i need to pee

8 Firsts
First Nickname: air-pie or erin-pie
First Kiss: in the library, a boy named Mike
First Crush: i think his name was teddy. we were in a musical together.
First Best Friend: Courtney
First Vehicle I Drove: a blue Ford Aerostar
First Job: lifeguard
First Date: his name was Luke, we went to an Italian place for dinner and made out in his Bronco
First Pet: Brandy, a golden retriever

7 Lasts
Last Drink: a glass of wine last night
Last Kiss: a few weeks ago - The Nice Guy
Last Meal: yogurt & oatmeal this morning
Last Web Site Visited: Evite
Last Movie Watched: Breaking the Waves (I'm actually not done with it)
Last Phone Call: at work yesterday - my friend Kellie
Last TV show Watched: 227

6 Have You Ever...
Have You Ever Broken the Law: yes
Have You Ever Been Drunk: yes
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: yes....a few times
Have You Ever Been in the Middle/Close to Gunfire: no
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: no, but i've gone streaking
Have You Ever Broken Anyone's Heart: i think so

5 Things
Things You Can Hear Right Now: a Joss Stone song, the TV
Things On Your Bed: a black fleece blanket
Things You Ate Today: oatmeal, vanilla yogurt, some berries
Things You Do When You Are Bored: play websudoku, watch tv, surf the internet, clean

4 Places You Have Been Today
ny closet
my bedroom
my bathroom
the kitchen

3 Things On Your Desk Right Now
I don't have a desk, but I am sitting at the kitchen table:
Chronicles of Narnia dvd
a painting my roommate made
my book for school

2 Choices
Salt or Pepper: pepper
Hot or Cold: hot

1 Place You Want To Visit
Greece

reasons this week has gone from bad to worse

1. The weather
A constant source of complaint in Chicago. The calendar says May, the weather feels like March. We went from 72 and sunny (Monday) to 48 and rainy (Friday). In a way, Mother Nature is mirroring my mood.

2. Work
It's slow these days, and the only projects I have are these mindless tasks I'm assisting on because there is a large need for my help. I've been working on it for a few weeks now - in fits and starts - and it's miserable. Fortunately, this should be the one and only time I have to do it.

3. Crush
The Work Crush was renewed last week. Yuck. It is now in Stage 4 - he is apparently seeing someone. Although because he was being somewhat secretive about it to my friend at work, she asked me if I was dating him. Weird.

4. Friends moving away
My aforementioned friend, Stacey, had her last day at work yesterday. She's leaving Chicago and moving to New York. Not only am I jealous, I'm very sad. Since the day I started this job, we've been together. She's my little work buddy (I say little because I'm a good seven inches taller than her). We have a lot in common, and sometimes it's scary how alike we are (or how similar our lives have been). She's my favorite person to talk to Monday through Friday. And today, my first day without her, has been so weird. It's not like she's just out for the day. I can tell that this is for real. I actually sat with her for six hours while she packed last night. It's gonna be weird here without her, especially now that we are entering a busy season at work.


My weird mood and the horrible weather is affecting me in all sorts of ways. Craving french fries, I went over to Marshall Field's for lunch and while I was browsing the jewelry department, I heard the "Theme from Love Story". I looked over and saw a tiny, older women sitting at the piano. She was dressed in a pink and purple nylon tracksuit and had on large purple glasses. After Love Story, she played another sad song (which is escaping me right now) and I almost started crying. While looking at earrings. At lunchtime on a Friday.

So tonight I will relax, and possibly watch Breaking the Waves.

conan takes chicago

Conan O'Brien is in town taping his show yesterday through Friday. For some reason, this has brought extreme excitement to the Chicago area. You'd think we never had a talk show taped here before.

Conan's show is being filmed at the Chicago Theatre, which is right around the corner from my office. This means I get to see the craziness up close: the eager Conan lovers standing in line all day, just hoping for a stand-by ticket to the show. And getting a stand-by ticket doesn't guarantee admittance. Oh no, there is another line for that.

Can someone tell me what the madness is all about? Maybe I take for granted that I've been in TV audiences before....but those crazy crowds and lines are just not worth it.

twofer tuesdays

Everyone seems to hate Mondays. Why? Mondays are like a fresh start to the week, a new beginning. Tuesdays...Tuesdays deserve to be the bad day. What does Tuesday have that Monday doesn't have? Sure, it's one day closer to Friday, but otherwise it's a pretty awful day. I can trace my hatred of Tuesdays back to high school. For some reason, Tuesdays always seemed to be bad days. In college, Tuesdays were always rainy and something always seemed to go wrong. Now, maybe it's psychological or maybe it's the day, but I always have a bummer of a day on Tuesdays. And today was one of those days. I came home in a funky mood and only sort of came out of it after having a glass of wine and my favorite pasta dinner (sauteed artichokes, mushrooms, zucchini, and black olives in olive oil over pasta with a sprinkling of mozzarella).

In the spirit of funky days, I give you an easy post.

Two of Your Everyday Essentials
1. Coffee
2. Lotion

Two Things You Are Wearing Right Now
1. Black Gap pj pants
2. my glasses

Two Things You Want in a Relationship
1. a sense of humor
2. love

Two Things That Scare You
1. being an adult
2. small, dark spaces

Two Truths
1. I like being alone, but sometimes I get lonely.
2. I need to relax more.

Two Things that Appeal to You In a Guy/Girl
1. Wit
2. Good conversation

Two of Your Favorite Hobbies
1. Watching movies (old or foreign)
2. Walking

Two Things You Want Really Badly
1. a promotion
2. for my roommates to be as neat as I am

Two Places You Want to go on Vacation
1. Greece
2. a cruise somewhere warm

Two Things You Want to Do Before You Die
1. Settle down with the person I love
2. Retire

Two Things You Are Thinking About Now
1. tomorrow's weather
2. cantaloupe

Two Things in Your Nightstand
1. my keys
2. a stack of bank statements

Two Stores You Shop At
1. American Apparel
2. Urban Outfitters

Two people I haven't talked to in a while
1. my aunt
2. my friend Lauren

Two favorite places
1. New York City
2. Marshall Field's