i didn't want to jinx it....

There are a few things that happen when I start dating someone.

1. I try not to get too excited about it. In my history, it's far more likely that the budding relationship with fall flat on its face within a few weeks.

2. So I try not to jinx it. I don't talk about the guy, the feelings, the anything because I'm certain that once I start verbalizing it, it will fall flat on its face. That's what always seems to happen.

3. When I do start talking about it, it's usually with my close friends. And if I really like someone, I can't wait for them to meet my friends. There are two reasons for this. First, my friends know me so well and can verify if I've found a good guy or not. I also want them to see my interaction with the fellow, to judge whether or not this is something I should continue to pursue. Secondly, the new man must see me with my friends. My friends are very important to me, and they are also a reflection of who I am as a person. And if he can't handle me when I'm with my friends, it's all over.

4. I also begin thinking too far into the future. I don't take time to appreciate what is going on at the moment; it's all about what will happen next. As a result, I start imagining a relationship that doesn't really exist. I get my hopes up and the guy doesn't meet my expectations.

5. I try to play the games and I fail miserably. All that game-playing in a relationship frustrates me. I don't understand how to play or what the game even is. As much as try to master these games, I always do something silly or stupid or honest that screws it all up.


So what about this new guy, A?

1. I am very excited about it. But not too excited. I tried to restrain myself at first. However, those days are long gone. My friend Leslie told me today that I'm smitten. It's true.

2. I waited to talk about it for as long as possible. It didn't matter - I haven't seemed to jinx. So now I can spread the word. I'm pretty crazy about A.

3. He's met most of my closest friends, even going so far as to go on a double date with my best friend and her boyfriend. It went splendidly. She is a huge fan of A, telling me that she really likes how we are together. I am very genuine around him, she says. He really likes my friends. And he's introduced me to most of his close friends. And I got good reviews as well.

4. I'm enjoying the moment. It's easy with him. We talk all the time and we are honest with each other. I don't need to start looking into the future because I'm so happy right now.

5. And, as I stated above, it's easy. There have been no games. We're upfront about things and we have no reason to play games with each other. I don't feel as though I have to work at anything with A. He treats me like no man has ever treated me before. I feel like a princess with him, which is something that I've never really felt in a relationship. When my friends tell me that they've never seen me like this, I'm quick to respond that it's because no one has ever treated me so well.