Tuesday, July 25, 2006

i didn't want to jinx it....

There are a few things that happen when I start dating someone.

1. I try not to get too excited about it. In my history, it's far more likely that the budding relationship with fall flat on its face within a few weeks.

2. So I try not to jinx it. I don't talk about the guy, the feelings, the anything because I'm certain that once I start verbalizing it, it will fall flat on its face. That's what always seems to happen.

3. When I do start talking about it, it's usually with my close friends. And if I really like someone, I can't wait for them to meet my friends. There are two reasons for this. First, my friends know me so well and can verify if I've found a good guy or not. I also want them to see my interaction with the fellow, to judge whether or not this is something I should continue to pursue. Secondly, the new man must see me with my friends. My friends are very important to me, and they are also a reflection of who I am as a person. And if he can't handle me when I'm with my friends, it's all over.

4. I also begin thinking too far into the future. I don't take time to appreciate what is going on at the moment; it's all about what will happen next. As a result, I start imagining a relationship that doesn't really exist. I get my hopes up and the guy doesn't meet my expectations.

5. I try to play the games and I fail miserably. All that game-playing in a relationship frustrates me. I don't understand how to play or what the game even is. As much as try to master these games, I always do something silly or stupid or honest that screws it all up.

So what about this new guy, A?

1. I am very excited about it. But not too excited. I tried to restrain myself at first. However, those days are long gone. My friend Leslie told me today that I'm smitten. It's true.

2. I waited to talk about it for as long as possible. It didn't matter - I haven't seemed to jinx. So now I can spread the word. I'm pretty crazy about A.

3. He's met most of my closest friends, even going so far as to go on a double date with my best friend and her boyfriend. It went splendidly. She is a huge fan of A, telling me that she really likes how we are together. I am very genuine around him, she says. He really likes my friends. And he's introduced me to most of his close friends. And I got good reviews as well.

4. I'm enjoying the moment. It's easy with him. We talk all the time and we are honest with each other. I don't need to start looking into the future because I'm so happy right now.

5. And, as I stated above, it's easy. There have been no games. We're upfront about things and we have no reason to play games with each other. I don't feel as though I have to work at anything with A. He treats me like no man has ever treated me before. I feel like a princess with him, which is something that I've never really felt in a relationship. When my friends tell me that they've never seen me like this, I'm quick to respond that it's because no one has ever treated me so well.

Tuesday, July 18, 2006

reasons/excuses for not posting more often

I've been spending all my time at work.

All that time I've been at work, I've actually been doing work. (No fun on the net).

When I'm not at work, I'm probably sleeping.

If I'm not sleeping, I'm doing statistics homework.

There's a cute boy occupying my mind.

This cute boy is also occupying my time.

A cute boy is far better than spending my free time in my room, alone, blogging on my laptop.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

blue tuesday

it is a universal truth that tuesdays are the worst day of the week. mine started with rain after i grudgingly dragged myself out of bed to go to the gym. i haven't been sleeping much lately and i was exhausted. but i still managed to get myself going this morning only to step outside into nasty, drippy rain. at least the train pulled in just as i got down to the platform.

my workday actually went well; no snags to speak of. i really felt great about the entire day until i heard from a coworker that the blue line wasn't working. there had been some sort of fire on the tracks. what started as a bit of a pain turned into a major annoyance when it took me 1.5 hours to get home. first i waited for the bus that is an alternate way of getting to my hood. i joined about 50 other people on the curb, all with the same idea. unfortunately, there were no buses coming. at least not the route we wanted. you would think the cta would dispatch more buses along that route since it is being considered an alternate to the train, but no......

fed up with waiting, i considered just trying to get a cab. i only had about $2 in my wallet so i stopped at a walgreen's for some cash. that's when i found the shuttle pickup. it was taking cta customers to the damen stop on the blue line. perfect! i weaved in between people until i managed to get a spot standing in the aisle hovering over an old man. i turned up the sound on my ipod to drown out the voices around me and tried to not think about how awful this was. it could be worse, right? i could have been on the train that derailed.

eventually, i made it home. a little irritated, sort of tired, ready for a drink. both of my parents called me after seeing the story on the news, just making sure i was okay. and A called too because he heard about it and thought of me.

more on that later....

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

the catastrophe snail

On a recent episode of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy,, Billy experienced a string of bad luck due to a Catastrophe Snail that had crawled inside his ear. The snail set up shop on Billy's brain, plugging in his computer and wreaking havoc on Billy's life. The Snail got great pleasure out of this. Mandy and Grim finally lured the Snail out of Billy's head and squashed it so that Billy's bad luck disappeared.

I think a Catastrophe Snail planted itself in my head last week, and I've yet to have it removed. I woke up late twice last week on two days where it was imperative that I NOT be late. The first day was last Tuesday when my hotel room alarm clock didn't sound and I had about 25 minutes to get down to the lobby to meet my coworkers. On Thursday, I woke up at 8:58 am. I was supposed to be on a client call at 9. My supervisor wasn't happy. Late twice in one week? I am never late. This weekend I didn't really do much so the bad luck had little opportunity to occur. I was supposed to go out with the New Guy (we'll call him A), but he had to cancel on me. Then Monday night the bad luck popped up again when I accidentally found myself caught up in some drama. I let something slip out to a friend which was damaging to a few other people. Needless to say, the night was downhill from there. I found myself outside a bar getting screamed at by an ex's roommate and had to try and sort things out this morning. I don't do drama and this whole thing has been quite unpleasant. That will teach me to keep my mouth shut.

The only good thing that came out of this past week was my date with A on Wednesday night (although it was the reason I woke up late and hungover on Thursday morning). It was a great first date even though I was utterly exhausted after my business trip. He picked me up via cab (totally out of his way, but chivalry is not dead to him) and we had a romantic Mexican dinner. Then he took me to his favorite bar, a small neighborhood place where he knew everyone and showed great pride in introducing me. Somehow I agreed to going to another bar with him and our Wednesday turned into a Friday night. No complaints though - I had a terrific time with A and cannot wait to see him again.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

just asking

Have you ever seen a black minivan? Do they not exist? And why not? I've got my thoughts but I'd like to hear what other people think.

This question came up during our recent road trip to Michigan and we've yet to get a solid answer.....