Wednesday, June 07, 2006

so what do you do when you can't stop thinking about someone? when he fills up spare thoughts? when you like being super occupied at work because you can't think about him? or when you wish he was curled up on the couch next to you when you come home from work and just want to relax? you see couples on the street or in restaurants, grabbing coffee or heading to the beach, and you want it to be you and him doing all these things. it hurts, all these thoughts and feelings, because you don't know if they will ever materialize. and it hurts because you can't help it; you can't stop the feelings and random acts of crying that come from thinking about him one minute too long. you're sure it would be love if it could just happen, and so you dismiss other potential possibilities because they don't measure up to whatever it is you've built inside your mind. it's not that it's fake; it's just not completely real. you're not pretending or inventing, but maybe you are making more out of what currently exists. and you can't tell him, at least not now or not yet. you want to. in fact, your mind has already imagined all the scenarios of how you'll tell him (of course, they all turn out great). but still, you wait. you let it go like it means so little to you when, in truth, it means so much.

2 comments:

Sub Girl said...

i think you need to act and go for it. better than to keep that inside you!

Maxwell Thomas Wastler said...

Yup. Better to go for it. What's the worst that could happen? Failure? At least you failed. You weren't a liar.

Nobody likes a liar.