Everyone knows the anxious/excited feelings that accompany a new crush. There is the nervousness about when you will see him/her. Will you be prepared or will you get flustered? When you talk to him/her, will you trip over your words or sound cool and collected? Should you flirt or play it cool? How interested should you be in him/her? Can you tell if they are interested in you? And what does the future hold for you and the crush?
I love having an early phase crush. This a crush of the type I described above. It's a crush that hasn't been too developed so there is still some mystery and excitement surrounding all crush encounters. When a crush goes bad, then it just becomes a painful reminder of what you can't have. That's the latter phase crush, the one you know is not interested in you. It becomes even worse if he/she knows about your crush, but does not have the same level of interest.
So yeah, I'm in the early phase now. For the most part, it's a good thing. It's a terrific distraction, one I've been needing to get my mind off other boys who are bad for me. And it's fun thinking about the 'What ifs' of the crush. It's been about two years since my last crush and I definitely needed one.
But it's also a very weird thing. This guy isn't my usual type. He's a Seth Cohen to a point: lanky, similar clothing style, same musical interests, and an overall charming geekiness. But he doesn't look like my type (dark hair, handsome in an academic/artsy way). He's got kind of crazy hair, which he recently buzzed off, and he's just sorta goofy.
Oh, and we work together.
In fact, he's my close friend's supervisor.
This is not only my first crush in a long time, it's also my first official workplace crush. I don't know what to do or how to act. The crush came on slowly and I wasn't sure how to react. Then last week, we hung out at some after-work parties and both drank a bit too much. We were the only two left standing and, from what I can pull out of my fuzzy memory, we got a little touchy-flirty.
Fortunately, he was out the following day. And so today was the first time I had to confront the workplace crush post drunk-flirting. And I didn't see him once. Even though we sit about 60 feet away from each other, our paths managed not to cross.
He did send an IM in the morning and, I won't lie, I got the butterfly/nervous/excited flutter in my stomach as soon as I saw his message.