Monday, January 23, 2006

When God Bless You Isn't Enough

I hate being sick, which is why I never let myself get sick. I take a multi-vitamin everyday. These, I believe, are the key to preventing illness. Whenever I stop taking them for a few days, I seem to catch a cold or my nose gets all sniffly. But then there are those rare occasions when, despite my best efforts to stay illness-free, I start coughing and sneezing. And then my throat feels scratchy and my eyes start watering.

Now I am stuck in stuffy sinus mode. I am constantly reaching for a Kleenex because it constantly feels like snot is dripping down my face. Even though I am not supposed to, I keep rubbing my itchy eyes. I have to hold back on my perfume since it only makes the itchiness worse. The coughing hasn't gotten too bad yet, but I do sound like there is a bucket of phlegm in my esophagus.

The worst part of it all - the sneezing. I hate sneezing. It's a distant relative of vomiting, in my opinion. There is that anticipation which comes before each act: a tickling in your nose or a rumble from your stomach to your throat. They are both awful feelings that cannot be stopped no matter how much you suppress the feeling. Fluids comes out of your nose and mouth, and you have to just let it flow. Sneezing, in many ways, is even grosser than vomiting because it happens frequently in public places. Look around at work or in a restaurant. On public transportation or in an elevator. Sneezing everywhere. And for some reason, we think "God Bless You" (or a variation of such) makes it all okay. It's fine that someone just shout out nasty germs in this small, enclosed space. I don't mind, as long as I make sure to bless them.

Sneezing can be loud. It can be long and painful. It can be very, very gross. And what happens when you are totally unprepared for the sneeze? Especially a very wet sneeze? It's almost like having a surprise puke attack in your car. Where do you go? What do you do?

And on that slimy image, I'm off to bed.

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