Monday, December 19, 2005

Set-Ups and the Single Girl

"Are you dating anyone?"


"Would you want to get set-up?"

Twice in one week this has been asked. Both times I gave a sort of shoulder shrug, "Sure, I guess so" response.

Do I want to be set-up?

One of the people who asked me saw my non-committal response and inquired further, wondering if I had had a bad experience. Not really, I told her. Which is true. I've only been set-up once and it didn't really go anywhere. So it's not past problems that are making me hesitant.

Getting set up would probably be a good idea these days. I am convinced that if I meet someone anytime soon, it will be through a friend of a friend. I don't expect to meet anyone at a bar, and I'm not forward enough when I go out to really make any sort of random encounter work. My roommate met her current boyfriend this way, but I doubt it would happen to me.

Aforementioned friend's boyfriend is the other person who asked me about a set-up. I think I am even less inclined toward meeting one of his friends for various reasons. I like Dan, but he's not the kind of guy I would go for. Nor are his friends. Not that I don't like them; I just can't see myself dating any one of them. He introduced me to one of his friend's over Labor Day weekend and, after talking to him for awhile at a party, I wasn't really upset that our future consisted of a few missed calls and nothing more. Dan suggested another friend, Joe, whom he thought I might like. He then asked Jill her thoughts on the set-up.

Jill looked at Dan as if he were crazy.

And here is the problem with the set-up. Someone thinks that you and his/her friend would make a great couple. You aren't sure why they think so, but you go ahead and meet the friend. It's a disaster. Your mutual acquaintance must not really know either of you very well. Or the basis for the set-up is some kind of vague reasoning, like you both majored in the same subject or you're both funny. This is not enough to sustain a relationship or even just a few dates.

So I am hesitant about being set-up. But I'm not saying no because these days I don't have much else to fall back on.


Me said...

The two things that come to mind after reading your post:

1. You are too young to worry about having something to “fall back on”. You are an intelligent, articulate person and you need not worry about silly things like contingency plans. You live in one of the largest cities in the world; you little play thing is there somewhere and he will find you.

2. Blogging at work is bad.

erin said...

1. Not saying that I am worrying, just that I shouldn't shy away from opportunities like I have in the past.

2. I know.

Sizzle said...

wait! blogging at work is BAD?


the set ups, if nothing else, are good blogging fodder.

Sub Girl said...

hey, it could be fun and work out. or make a funny story. i also worry about the "fall back on" thing. but you shouldn't!

The Scarlett said...

Go with the set-ups. If it ends as a disaster, just tell the date at the end, "You realize this was so bad, I'm going to have to write about this in my blog" ... then record every excrutiating detail the next day (don't tell disaster-date your URL). So good date/bad date ... it's a win/win.