Tuesday, January 16, 2007

this is me not knowing what to do

So I'm a little weirded out.

Let me back up and explain.

On NYE, my roommate Anne invited her boyfriend's two friends to come out with us. Her boyfriend was still with his family in Turkey (we are a multicultural household here, it's crazy) but she reached out to his friends who were going to be around. I'd met one of these guys a few times before, but not the other one (well, I guess he was at Anne's birthday party but I was too drunk and into my own dance moves that I totally didn't notice). To make a non-interesting story short, this friend (we'll call him the Foreigner) told Anne he thought I was pretty.

Flattering? Yes, especially after I just been dumped by A and needed a bit of an ego boost. But honestly, I wasn't really interested. Sure, he is sort of cute in a strange, European way but there is no attraction there. So I didn't pursue his interest any further than just being friendly at the New Year's party. Oh, and I agreed (drunk, drunk Erin) to go to coffee with him, Anne, and her boyfriend when he returned later that week. Oh well. What's coffee with friends, right?

Except coffee with friends wound up just being the Foreigner and I. Somehow Anne and her boyfriend were no longer included in the plans. Again, I went along with the plans because what's the harm in just having coffee on a Saturday afternoon, right?

But coffee turned into "Would you like to go see a movie?" and I, being the ever polite and always pleasing Erin, agreed. Because we impulsively chose to go to a movie theater without consulting the show times, we ended up seeing Borat, which I had not seen yet (although he had). It was either that or The Pursuit of Happyness and I just couldn't take seeing Will Smith looking like Jesse Jackson all over again.

We made small talk until the movie started, but the whole time I kept thinking "I cannot imagine myself making out with this guy". And I think once you recognize that, the relationship is not going anywhere. After the movie he ended, he suggested (as I anticipated he would) that we get something for dinner. Fortunately, I had a birthday party that night, so I had an easy excuse for why I needed to go home. He dropped me off and I awkwardly avoided any sort of goodbye kiss in the car.

As my birthday party rolled around, Anne invited the Turkish crew and I received a few emails from the Foreigner about how he was looking forward to seeing me. I wanted him to give up after date one, but I guess he was still interested (my cold shoulder is apparently not cold enough). I knew, however, that my birthday party would be a night where I was in my own world: drinking too much, flitting around to talk to all my friends, not paying attention to any one person for very long, and generally being too blitzed to be very cute and interesting.

Of course, this is what happened. But that didn't stop him from 1) bringing a birthday card for me to the bar and 2) sending me an email on Sunday again wishing me a Happy Birthday and letting me know that he had 3) bought me a gift so he needed to 4) see me again to deliver it. Are you serious? Some of my closest friends didn't bother with a gift or a card. And I've known this guy for less than 2 weeks? And haven't shown any genuine interest in him?

So now I am weirded out. I don't want to just be rude and blow him off, but I don't want to lead him on. And this is where I always get stuck. I'm worried about being mean, so I don't do anything and then it just seems like I am ignoring the poor guy. Truthfully, if I were attracted to him this would be another story. I would be so excited and impressed with the gift purchasing that I would be gushing about it right now. But there is no gushing; there is only confusion and concern and a generally bad taste in my mouth.


noelle feather said...


I love that word. :)

Clink said...

I would be weirded out too, to tell you the truth. It's a little much. Is there anyway Anne can help you out in this situation? Pass on a discreet message that you're, ahem, not looking for anything at the moment? Because really. It's sweet and all but even if you did want to make out with this guy, it's still a little much.

erin said...

Noelle, it is a great word.

Clink, thank you for agreeing. I think I will pass on a little note to my roommate soon.

Mark said...

Be honest with him. He might hurt for a bit but if twere done at all, twere best done quickly.

An interested surfer who stopped by to say hi.

Sub Girl said...

yeah if he doesn't take the hint, you might have to be direct. good luck!