holding my hand would have been nice

I've been unexplainably irrational lately. I pride myself on being practical, but when it comes to my love life, all rational thought disappears. Combined with potentially PMS-induced moodiness, it's becoming troublesom.....

Monday night was terrific. For our date A had chosen a cute wine bar which, when I looked it up on Metromix, had multiple reviews about its romantic setting. Perfect! Dinner was excellent. We ordered too much food (as usual) and I had one too many glasses of wine (as usual). Conversation was excellent. We ordered dessert (or rather, he ordered dessert because there was a raspberry/dark chocolate item and he knows that those are two of my favorite things in the world and even though I wasn't hungry for dessert and he doesn't really like raspberries or dark chocolate, he ordered it for us to share). After dinner, we went back to his place and watched TV before finally falling asleep some time around 3 am. It was a struggle for both of us to wake up Tuesday morning.

During dinner I mentioned that I had two free passes to a screening of Stranger Than Fiction for Tuesday night. He looked at me as if he were shocked that I hadn't already invited him. So we made plans for Tuesday night to meet after work and, again, I was really looking forward to it.

But then this is where he got weird and I started being irrational.....

The entire night - no touching, no handholding, no kissing until our goodbye. Not saying that I'm a PDA kind of girl (I'm not. I'm very non-touchy. I don't cuddle, I don't really do hugs, and kissing in public has always been awkward for me). Even so, I would have liked some showing of affection at some point during the night. It was as though we hadn't ever dated and he was a boy I liked and he was totally giving me the "let's just be friends" vibe. After the movie, we grabbed drinks and some dinner and, again, totally weird. He walked me to my bus stop, giving me a quick kiss before I boarded, and then continued walking down Chicago Avenue, checking his phone messages (I could see him from the bus).

Twenty minutes later when I stepped off the bus and started walking home, I started to feel really sad. Confused. Two nights, two completely different vibes. It's not that I started to doubt A's interest in me, but I did begin questioning where I stand with him. And this isn't really a conversation I want to have.