Study Buddies

School has taken over my life this past term. Taking more than one class a week is proving to be far more difficult than I expected, especially since one of those courses is Finance, something I have come to despise. I think I was predisposed to hating the class since I am not a math/numbers/accounting fan, but I hate it even more because there is so much work involved and the professor is kind of a jerk. Only three weeks to go until it's over (and I probably bomb the final). I've pretty much determined that this is the term when I break my all-A streak. Oh well.

My other class isn't so bad. It's about Leadership and it's primarily discussion based. There isn't that much work to do for the course and the best part of it is A is in the class with me. He is determined to graduate at the end of this term (in four weeks) so he is taking three classes right now. I have no idea how he is doing it. (Okay, I do know. He doesn't really sleep much. He stays up late writing papers and taking quizzes and turns assignments in a few days late). But since we are both so overwhelmed with school this term, we're finding it very difficult to spend any time together (and our class doesn't count).

So we've managed to be like college kids and study together. And I think it's working. I'm the disciplined one. I sit down and focus and get my assignment done. I manage my time effectively so that I can play when the work is over. A is not quite so disciplined. He procrastinates. He half-asses his work. But he also takes time to relax and step away from school when he needs to. Our studying together is effective since I can be the good influence on him, and we know that when our work is done we can really spend time together.

This weekend was no exception. We had to complete a midterm quiz online before our class on Saturday afternoon. A and I are sharing the book for the course so we had to do the quiz together. And since he has missed a couple classes for personal reasons, I am a lot closer to the material and have all the notes. A, who was housesitting for his friend for a few days this past week, picked me up Friday night and we went back to his friend's place to start the quiz. We started the quizzes late in the night (around 11pm) and didn't finish both of them until almost 4 (with a small break in between). Housesitting meant dogsitting as well so we had to keep taking the dog out and entertaining him so he wouldn't disturb the person taking the quiz. After we finished, we refilled our wine glasses and just talked in between bites of pita chips and artichoke dip. We talked a lot, and he even brought up the fact that he wants to take things slowly. He and I agree that going too fast can make the relationship fizzle out too fast; both of us have had this happen before. But then I lost my chance. He mentioned that his friend Amy asked about us, what our status was, and that she was surprised I hadn't brought it up to A. He said he was surprised as well. It's my awkwardness, my fear, that has caused me not to say anything and I lost my chance during the conversation to really ask him because we started talking about something else and it was gone.

But I've been thinking about it a lot, about what I want A and I to be. Now that it's on the table, I'm not really afraid to bring it up again and really have the conversation.