Saturday, August 27, 2005

I've got my answer

I woke up at 7 AM and started crying. After awhile I fell back asleep. Now I just wish it wasn't sunny so I could wallow some more.

Last night had promise. Jill & I were out by 8, ready to start our evening at a free drinks party til 9. Within the hour, I was buzzed (2 G&Ts and a Long Island will do that to a girl) and ready to move on to the next party. Jill and Anne in tow (and other friends meeting us), we were among a large crowd of my fellow college alums. They were all a year younger than me, and only a few would I actually consider friends. They were mostly male acquaintences of mine, and good friends of The Returning Ex.

He wasn't there. I wasn't going to ask if he was coming. I waited it out, enjoying myself, drinking too much, and chatting with friends. At some point I turned around and saw him behind me, and he was with the girlfriend.

I didn't know if he had a girlfriend. He never confirmed this with me and his friends didn't really seem to know. I mean, they were asking if WE were dating. So it's perfectly fine for me to be clueless, right? And all of those fabulous things he said to me - how was I know to he was seeing someone else? The way he framed things, I was the only girl in his life.

I don't think I spoke to him. My memory is fuzzy, but I am almost 100% positive that I gave him a dirty look but said nothing. After a few reassuring words from Jill and Anne (you know, where your girlfriends tell you that you are WAY better looking than the other girl), I made my exit. It was time. I had had too much to drink and didn't need to say or do anything stupid.

His friends are having a cookout tonight. They live just up the street from our apartment. Do I go? Do I risk having to face him with her again?

At least now I know where I stand with him.

On another note, I've found a great distraction - filmwise

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