BlogHer 07 and Christian Bale

At least half of that title should have intrigued you....

After attending BlogHer 07 on Friday, all I wanted to do was come home and pimp my blog (as well as read other blogs by people I had met - I earned quite the collection of business cards by the end of the day). Unfortunately, I had plans for Friday night so that pimping hasn't quite happened yet. But seriously, seeing all of these female bloggers so passionate about what they write and read and share was tremendous. Everyone was on their laptop all day (I felt like a loser because I didn't bring mine), updating their blog with photos from the event and posts about the meetings. There was excitement around meeting other bloggers who they only knew from their posts and maybe a picture or two. All in all, it was pretty damn cool (in a totally geeky way).

So as I begin to think about pimping my blog, I ask all of you using WordPress - do you like it better than Blogger? I'm thinking of making a switch.

Now for some totally unrelated discussion....

My plans Friday night consisted of going to a friend's place for dinner and wine. There were 5 of us devouring the homemade eggplant parmigiana, salad, garlic bread, and delicious chocolate-peanut buttery-cool whipped dessert. Lots of wine. We just talked about whatever crossed our minds and since we didn't all know each other very well, there was a lot that we could really talk about. Of course, with 5 ladies in their mid-twenties the conversation drifted toward marriage and weddings and being a mom (yes, one of those evenings). My friend Les provided even more details around her own wedding, which is important since I will be in it, but a little premature since there is no ring on her finger...yet. All of the marriage and He's The One talk got me thinking as I lay in bed trying to fall asleep. I realized that I am totally ready for a nice, serious relationship. That is really all I want. The scary thing is, I don't necessarily want to be in that mindset when I meet someone. It might be a bit disconcerting for any man if I approach him with, "Hi, I am just looking for a guy to begin a really serious relationship with. Interested?" So I will just keep moving along, hoping that something can turn into a little something more.

And now that I have a crush on someone (ahh....I hate having a crush), I am thinking about it even more, in terms of a specific somebody. This crush happens to be work-related (aren't they all?), although he doesn't actually work in my office. However, we do work together, if that makes sense.

Speaking of crushes...I am watching Batman Begins right now and, wow, I love Christian Bale (I am also a huge Batman fan in general). He's been in Chicago filming the new Batman move, The Dark Knight," and I have been just wishing I could get a glimpse of him running around my city. Which is why when we were talking about meeting celebrities at work and my boss drops that he "was at Ben Pao recently and saw Christian Bale", I almost had a heart attack. In fact, I leaned over clutching my chest and dropped my jaw as far open as it could go. Wha? Really? Christian Bale was at Ben Pao? That's just a few blocks from my office. And I can afford to eat there. So not fair.

reasons this week has gone from bad to worse

1. The weather
A constant source of complaint in Chicago. The calendar says May, the weather feels like March. We went from 72 and sunny (Monday) to 48 and rainy (Friday). In a way, Mother Nature is mirroring my mood.

2. Work
It's slow these days, and the only projects I have are these mindless tasks I'm assisting on because there is a large need for my help. I've been working on it for a few weeks now - in fits and starts - and it's miserable. Fortunately, this should be the one and only time I have to do it.

3. Crush
The Work Crush was renewed last week. Yuck. It is now in Stage 4 - he is apparently seeing someone. Although because he was being somewhat secretive about it to my friend at work, she asked me if I was dating him. Weird.

4. Friends moving away
My aforementioned friend, Stacey, had her last day at work yesterday. She's leaving Chicago and moving to New York. Not only am I jealous, I'm very sad. Since the day I started this job, we've been together. She's my little work buddy (I say little because I'm a good seven inches taller than her). We have a lot in common, and sometimes it's scary how alike we are (or how similar our lives have been). She's my favorite person to talk to Monday through Friday. And today, my first day without her, has been so weird. It's not like she's just out for the day. I can tell that this is for real. I actually sat with her for six hours while she packed last night. It's gonna be weird here without her, especially now that we are entering a busy season at work.


My weird mood and the horrible weather is affecting me in all sorts of ways. Craving french fries, I went over to Marshall Field's for lunch and while I was browsing the jewelry department, I heard the "Theme from Love Story". I looked over and saw a tiny, older women sitting at the piano. She was dressed in a pink and purple nylon tracksuit and had on large purple glasses. After Love Story, she played another sad song (which is escaping me right now) and I almost started crying. While looking at earrings. At lunchtime on a Friday.

So tonight I will relax, and possibly watch Breaking the Waves.

Entering Phase Two

In just a few weeks, the crush has turned sour. In my opinion, this happened when I got really drunk at Happy Hour two Fridays ago and was probably being obnoxious. I don't really recall much about the latter half of the evening, but usually if I have a bad feeling about my behavior, I'm probably right to feel that way. And it's not being drunk that might have totally ruined things, it's what I might have said or done around him. He was barely in the office last week so there were few opportunities to observe our interactions. Today, however, I had to talk to him about something and I could just feel something strange in our conversation. Now I just feel stupid. It's not so much the Crush that's bothering me, as the fact that I made an ass of myself.

And you'd think this all wouldn't matter since I should be distracted by the Nice Guy I've gone out with a few times. The Nice Guy who seems really interested and isn't afraid to say so. The Nice Guy who is also pretty good-looking, especially when compared to the goofiness of the Crush. The Nice Guy who was out of town this weekend, but called me right when he returned. The Nice Guy who definitely has some potential. However, the Nice Guy still can't keep me distracted enough to forget the Crush.

It's no surprise. I always want what I can't have and take for granted the things that are right in front of me.

Mental Health Day

Okay, okay.....

I've been wanting to post, but a) internet connection at new place is sketchy and b) work has been too busy for blogging. So now I am at Starbucks, frantically trying to get some last minute research done for a paper I have to turn in on Monday night and I am finally going to post an update of sorts.

Our New Place - Although it's a mess right now, I think it will come along in the next few weeks. Well, it has to since we are hosting a bachelorette party in 3 weeks! We still need our dining table & chairs, and we are going to buy a couch this weekend. I took the day off from work today (I desperately needed a Mental Health Day) so I was also around for the Gas guy and the Comcast Duo to come and get us up and running. We went the entire week without heat or hot water. Ouch. Thank god we all have other places to shower (gym, boyfriend's apartment). There are still boxes all over the place, but none of us have really been home much during the week to get anything done.

Crush - Last Friday, the night before we moved, I had a going-away party for a coworker. What started as some cocktails after work turned into all-night drinking. No dinner, lots of shots. Which means I was a sloppy drunk. And I was sloppy around the crush. Oops. So who knows what that means.....I'm trying not to concern myself with it right now.

Other Guy - Yes, there is someone other than the crush in my life right now. I've been holding out on you (just for a little over a week). We went out last week for some coffee & sweet treats at my favorite bakery Sweet Mandy B's. And we had date #2 last night over sushi in the West Loop. The weirdest thing about it is that he lives just two streets over from my new apartment. And how did we meet? That is another post altogether....next week, I promise! But so far, so good. He's cute, very kind, and a Sopranos fan. I have yet to find a reason NOT to see him again. And seeing as I haven't dated anyone in a very long time, I'm a little nervous/somewhat excited about it. He's gone for the weekend, but we'll see what happens....And it's a great way for me to not obsess over my secret boyfriend.

Now I am off to enjoy the rest of my day off! Hopefully our internet will be up and running smoothly soon so I can be a better blogger!

Crush Update (or I have become 14 again)

Work and moving have taken priority in my life these past few days. I haven't time for schoolwork, let alone blogging.

But I thought I should update you on my secret boyfriend.

During the past four days, I've seen him quite infrequently. Pre-crush, I never thought about how little (or how much) I saw him during the day. Now I notice. My friend, who works for the secret boyfriend, sits right near him. Usually I stop by her desk a few times each day. I've been more nervous about going over there lately. She'll IM me, asking me to stop by because she has a question and, before I walk the 50 feet, I stop to freshen up and make sure I look cute.

I'm a dork.

Even so, I really haven't had any interaction with him all week. Today, just before he left for a client meeting (damn, he'll be out of the office tomorrow), I enjoyed a brief flirtation. BRIEF.

I am back in high school again.

What has made the situation so strange is that I can't say anything to anyone. Especially my friend. It's her boss who is my secret boyfriend. And I know that she would be shocked if I told her I had a crush on him.

Fortunately, my upcoming move on Saturday will keep me (somewhat) distracted.

I was long overdue

Everyone knows the anxious/excited feelings that accompany a new crush. There is the nervousness about when you will see him/her. Will you be prepared or will you get flustered? When you talk to him/her, will you trip over your words or sound cool and collected? Should you flirt or play it cool? How interested should you be in him/her? Can you tell if they are interested in you? And what does the future hold for you and the crush?

I love having an early phase crush. This a crush of the type I described above. It's a crush that hasn't been too developed so there is still some mystery and excitement surrounding all crush encounters. When a crush goes bad, then it just becomes a painful reminder of what you can't have. That's the latter phase crush, the one you know is not interested in you. It becomes even worse if he/she knows about your crush, but does not have the same level of interest.

So yeah, I'm in the early phase now. For the most part, it's a good thing. It's a terrific distraction, one I've been needing to get my mind off other boys who are bad for me. And it's fun thinking about the 'What ifs' of the crush. It's been about two years since my last crush and I definitely needed one.

But it's also a very weird thing. This guy isn't my usual type. He's a Seth Cohen to a point: lanky, similar clothing style, same musical interests, and an overall charming geekiness. But he doesn't look like my type (dark hair, handsome in an academic/artsy way). He's got kind of crazy hair, which he recently buzzed off, and he's just sorta goofy.

Oh, and we work together.

In fact, he's my close friend's supervisor.

This is not only my first crush in a long time, it's also my first official workplace crush. I don't know what to do or how to act. The crush came on slowly and I wasn't sure how to react. Then last week, we hung out at some after-work parties and both drank a bit too much. We were the only two left standing and, from what I can pull out of my fuzzy memory, we got a little touchy-flirty.

Oops.

Fortunately, he was out the following day. And so today was the first time I had to confront the workplace crush post drunk-flirting. And I didn't see him once. Even though we sit about 60 feet away from each other, our paths managed not to cross.

He did send an IM in the morning and, I won't lie, I got the butterfly/nervous/excited flutter in my stomach as soon as I saw his message.