I am done with my MBA program!
I just finished taking my last final...ever! No more school, at least I hope not....
As soon as I finished my exam, I popped open a bottle of champagne. Unfortunately, I am home alone so this just means I might get drunk on champagne on a Tuesday night all by myself. Just what a business professional should do, right?
School has taken over my life this past term. Taking more than one class a week is proving to be far more difficult than I expected, especially since one of those courses is Finance, something I have come to despise. I think I was predisposed to hating the class since I am not a math/numbers/accounting fan, but I hate it even more because there is so much work involved and the professor is kind of a jerk. Only three weeks to go until it's over (and I probably bomb the final). I've pretty much determined that this is the term when I break my all-A streak. Oh well.
My other class isn't so bad. It's about Leadership and it's primarily discussion based. There isn't that much work to do for the course and the best part of it is A is in the class with me. He is determined to graduate at the end of this term (in four weeks) so he is taking three classes right now. I have no idea how he is doing it. (Okay, I do know. He doesn't really sleep much. He stays up late writing papers and taking quizzes and turns assignments in a few days late). But since we are both so overwhelmed with school this term, we're finding it very difficult to spend any time together (and our class doesn't count).
So we've managed to be like college kids and study together. And I think it's working. I'm the disciplined one. I sit down and focus and get my assignment done. I manage my time effectively so that I can play when the work is over. A is not quite so disciplined. He procrastinates. He half-asses his work. But he also takes time to relax and step away from school when he needs to. Our studying together is effective since I can be the good influence on him, and we know that when our work is done we can really spend time together.
This weekend was no exception. We had to complete a midterm quiz online before our class on Saturday afternoon. A and I are sharing the book for the course so we had to do the quiz together. And since he has missed a couple classes for personal reasons, I am a lot closer to the material and have all the notes. A, who was housesitting for his friend for a few days this past week, picked me up Friday night and we went back to his friend's place to start the quiz. We started the quizzes late in the night (around 11pm) and didn't finish both of them until almost 4 (with a small break in between). Housesitting meant dogsitting as well so we had to keep taking the dog out and entertaining him so he wouldn't disturb the person taking the quiz. After we finished, we refilled our wine glasses and just talked in between bites of pita chips and artichoke dip. We talked a lot, and he even brought up the fact that he wants to take things slowly. He and I agree that going too fast can make the relationship fizzle out too fast; both of us have had this happen before. But then I lost my chance. He mentioned that his friend Amy asked about us, what our status was, and that she was surprised I hadn't brought it up to A. He said he was surprised as well. It's my awkwardness, my fear, that has caused me not to say anything and I lost my chance during the conversation to really ask him because we started talking about something else and it was gone.
But I've been thinking about it a lot, about what I want A and I to be. Now that it's on the table, I'm not really afraid to bring it up again and really have the conversation.
all of those things that were stressing me out not too long ago? not so much of a problem.
just this week i got the promotion i've been waiting for. i couldn't believe it! although i knew it would be coming soon, i was still surprised when my boss told me. however, it's been somewhat anti-climactic. i'm not allowed to tell anyone at work yet and my friends really haven't been able to celebrate with me. bummer. i won't know what account i will be working on until everything is formally announced. now i'm just anxious for that (and the accompanying raise).
things are better with A. we talked about the fact that he was ignoring me (actually he brought it up). we're taking a class together on saturdays which sort of sucks and is sort of nice. i feel like i'm in high school again because we just sit in the back and flirt. and i make him buy me lunch during the break.
i also figured out that i can be done with my mba by february! i thought it was going to be at least april before i graduated and, to do so, i would have to pay for some of my classes (i currently attend gratis). but no reimbursement will be needed as my mom's faculty position ensures that i can take all my courses for free. this means that i will have to push myelf a bit more, but i think it's totally worth it.
otherwise, things are pretty good. work is slow and socially things have slowed down from their summer crazyness. i like knowing that i can stay in on a friday night if i really want to while not worrying about missing someone's event.
I am in pull-my-hair-out stressed/depressed/anxious mode this week. The kind of mood where I want to cry at multiple times throughout the day for almost no reason. When all I want is to eat chocolate and have the calories disappear into thin air. When I just want my roommates to go away so I can be all by myself and mope in peace. And sleep, though it's hard to come by, is the best part of the day.
There isn't one specific cause; a number of things could be contributing to my fluctuating, often gloomy mood this week. At first I thought it was A. His say one thing/do another behavior lately has warped my mind. When I think about him, I cannot think clearly nor can I think rationally. It's driving me a bit mad. But he's not the only stressor. Work, which was insanely busy for the past 2 1/2 months, has come to an abrupt halt. I find myself ready for a lunch break at 10:30am. Just a few weeks ago, lunch was that little snack I had around 2:15. You'd think this would make me happy, but instead it's got me thinking more. And thinking more always makes me anxious. This, coupled with the fact that I am antsy about getting promoted, made each day this week (and I only have a 3-day work week) slightly painful. Or maybe it's the statistics final I have to take tonight. However, I think I am just using that as something to blame this all on. I've got a 97% in the course going into the final exam so I have little to worry about. In fact, studying has been one way of getting my mind off other bothersome things.
This morning when I stepped outside I found another possible cause - the suddenly cool, gloomy weather which started on Sunday. It's difficult to get out of bed in the morning when it's dark and rainy outside, especially when my room is almost always dark (thanks to the small space between our building and our neighbor's). Coming home from work has been wet and cold and crowded. Now that I'm not working hellishly late, I leave with everyone else. Which means everyone else is trying to get on the same train. And all of us don't fit (though there are always those individuals who insist that there is room for one last person and that one last person is them). So I've crowded myself into the el car and braced myself against a pole for the three stop (only 8 minute) ride to my hood. But once I'm off the train, it's piddle-paddle through the puddles on Division in my flip-flops, splatters of mud up and down my calves when I finally get home and try to fish my keys out of my bag without dropping my umbrella. That alone would put any reasonable person on edge.
But my favorite possible cause of this distress is the new birth control I started last week. Potential side effects include depression or sudden mood changes. Sounds about right.
I've been spending all my time at work.
All that time I've been at work, I've actually been doing work. (No fun on the net).
When I'm not at work, I'm probably sleeping.
If I'm not sleeping, I'm doing statistics homework.
There's a cute boy occupying my mind.
This cute boy is also occupying my time.
A cute boy is far better than spending my free time in my room, alone, blogging on my laptop.
